i'm not a monster

Imiss you energy girl. i feelbroken. I wnat to yell i'm not a monster but i cant. I want to talk to you but i cant and tears me up inside. I also miss you too juliet butat least i can still talk to you. your really all i have left from my three groups of friends.i am not a a fan of whiskey but it taste good with pibb. wall street is good movie. man i'm so titred. i'm not amonster

Hello there.

So here I am. I don't know why i'm still up writing this. I guess I just had the urge and so here I am. What to talk about? Well I find myself distracted as of late. I can't seem to get my head together. I'm still feeling the aftereffects of energy girl. Of course I have had other people helping to distract me but still my mind wanders back to my superhero on occasion. I also have been thinking of my elemental goddess. She is an always has been my goddess. Also on my mind is the mortal I shall call Juliet. Ever since energy girl left she has been here for me and I am eternally(don't care about the spelling) grateful. I find myself thinking about her as well. SHe however is a very popular person which sometimes I admire and sometimes I despise. Like the people she gets to go out with. It gets to me sometimes perhaps only because I never recieve that. Hmm phantom lady is coming over tomorrow. We are going to watch smallville. I got her hooked using my persuasive methods. Sorry if I'm rambling I'm just really tired. HOwever I can't sleep without getting these thoughts out of my head. OH yeah christmas is coming. I can't wait. I get to spend christmas with Juliet. I feel my eyes lowering. I can't stay awake. Tmrw I will probably post more on my thoughts.

Blue Christmas

Well here I am. Recently my parents moved to Alaska and I felt depressed because my loving parents, that I had been with for 20 years, were moving away. What made it even worse was the fact that they were moving before my favorite holidays, thanksgiving and christmas, and I was sad at the fact that I would spend these holidays alone this year. However, there was a silver lining in this cloud. I had a girlfriend, my own personal guardian superhero. I cast off my shackles of sadness and depression because even though my parents were gone, I had a loving relationship as well as a  place for the holidays. Now those shackles have returned heavier then they ever were before. My guardian superhero is no longer my guardian superhero. Now I see Christmas looming up as a gaping chasm of darkness. I will be spending christmas alone  because I just havn't the heart to go anywhere else. Even as I write these words, my eyes begin to water from hurtful memories of the past. My body and brain beg to be fed food but my heart refuses to give them what they seek. I have not eaten all day and I still don't have the will to eat. I feel like I have finally been broken. The thing is I have no one to blame but myself which makes the pain so much deeper. So my christmas will be a blue one. The first blue christmas I've ever had.