Thursday, December 23, 2010

i'm not a monster

Imiss you energy girl. i feelbroken. I wnat to yell i'm not a monster but i cant. I want to talk to you but i cant and tears me up inside. I also miss you too juliet butat least i can still talk to you. your really all i have left from my three groups of friends.i am not a a fan of whiskey but it taste good with pibb. wall street is good movie. man i'm so titred. i'm not amonster

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Hello there.

So here I am. I don't know why i'm still up writing this. I guess I just had the urge and so here I am. What to talk about? Well I find myself distracted as of late. I can't seem to get my head together. I'm still feeling the aftereffects of energy girl. Of course I have had other people helping to distract me but still my mind wanders back to my superhero on occasion. I also have been thinking of my elemental goddess. She is an always has been my goddess. Also on my mind is the mortal I shall call Juliet. Ever since energy girl left she has been here for me and I am eternally(don't care about the spelling) grateful. I find myself thinking about her as well. SHe however is a very popular person which sometimes I admire and sometimes I despise. Like the people she gets to go out with. It gets to me sometimes perhaps only because I never recieve that. Hmm phantom lady is coming over tomorrow. We are going to watch smallville. I got her hooked using my persuasive methods. Sorry if I'm rambling I'm just really tired. HOwever I can't sleep without getting these thoughts out of my head. OH yeah christmas is coming. I can't wait. I get to spend christmas with Juliet. I feel my eyes lowering. I can't stay awake. Tmrw I will probably post more on my thoughts.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Blue Christmas

Well here I am. Recently my parents moved to Alaska and I felt depressed because my loving parents, that I had been with for 20 years, were moving away. What made it even worse was the fact that they were moving before my favorite holidays, thanksgiving and christmas, and I was sad at the fact that I would spend these holidays alone this year. However, there was a silver lining in this cloud. I had a girlfriend, my own personal guardian superhero. I cast off my shackles of sadness and depression because even though my parents were gone, I had a loving relationship as well as a  place for the holidays. Now those shackles have returned heavier then they ever were before. My guardian superhero is no longer my guardian superhero. Now I see Christmas looming up as a gaping chasm of darkness. I will be spending christmas alone  because I just havn't the heart to go anywhere else. Even as I write these words, my eyes begin to water from hurtful memories of the past. My body and brain beg to be fed food but my heart refuses to give them what they seek. I have not eaten all day and I still don't have the will to eat. I feel like I have finally been broken. The thing is I have no one to blame but myself which makes the pain so much deeper. So my christmas will be a blue one. The first blue christmas I've ever had.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Time (Wish I had a rhyme)

Well its blogging time again. So I’m in writing lab again just sitting here waiting for the time to pass. I recently read an article about why having certain superpowers would be bad. One of these powers was immortality. The reason being that a person’s sense of time grows shorter the older they get. When we were little kids an hour seemed like forever but now that were older it goes by quickly. This article said that if we were immortal we would get to a point where years would seem to pass by like minutes. Now right now the hour I have left in here seems to be taking forever but I do see his point. I f I was doing something entertaining the time would probably go by faster. Okay what else to talk about. I have an apartment now. It’s a nice place. Now as for my last post. I would like to point out that I was not ATTACKING anyone. I was just stating a personal opinion. However I doubt the followers of the dark side Darth Aido and Darth Jayce will read this. Now I’m only calling them sith lords because they have been so mean and evil lately well Darth Aido has anyway, Jayce is just her normal old self. I invited them to have some cake and they didn’t even reply. “HE WHO REFUSES CAKE ARE EVIL” I’m sure Yoda would agree with me on this. I’m a little sorry that I pick on them but they were rude first so I have to respond in their language which is rudeness. My energy girl is awesome!! I think that’s really all I can write about. The sith clones annoy me but I don’t hate them for things they have done in the past. I don't like Jayce, never have really but I’m sure she would say the same. Now I know my thoughts are a little random but I’m just writing what first comes to my mind. That is no patterning just me thinking and writing stuff down. Speaking of which, my head hurts. Could be lack of sleep or brain tumor from my cell.\


Now some quotes on time:

Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life. ~William Faulkner

Time is what prevents everything from happening at once. ~John Archibald Wheeler

Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them. ~Dion Boucicault

But what minutes! Count them by sensation, and not by calendars, and each moment is a day. ~Benjamin Disraeli

Time goes, you say? Ah no!
Alas, Time stays, we go. ~Henry Austin Dobson

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day~William Shakespeare

It's a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up. ~J.K. Rowling,

Who forces time is pushed back by time; who yields to time finds time on his side. ~The Talmud

Whether we wake or we sleep, Whether we carol or weep,
The Sun with his Planets in chime,Marketh the going of Time.~Edward Fitzgerald

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. ~Louis Hector Berlioz

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. ~Tony Hendra, "Deteriorata" (Thanks Tom)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Me, women, and all that jazz.

Well let's see. I left off on the Tuesday before Well Homecoming was amazing. I finally asked Kelly out and she said yes. So it was a great night I danced so much, it was insane. I haven’t danced that much in years.


Wait I forgot the most important thing. The reason Kelly aka Elijah hadn't messaged me after dinner was because two people had told her a secret about me and Ella. Let me start off at the beginning. Ella decided that her and the le’chel and Kelsey aka Mom. Were friends again even after all the fighting they had gone through lately? She arrived at this conclusion based on the fact that they had made up. So she decided to tell them the secret of me and her (without consulting me at all.) and of course they decided to tell Kelly because they felt it was wrong. Okay I don't know what made them think that what they were doing was right but it wasn't. When a friend tells you a secret in confidence you don't go and tell that secret and unless it is something illegal. Now apparently Kelly wasn't supposed to say anything but Kelly wants to know both sides so she tells Ella she knows. So Ella is pissed at the two and unfired them (I was pissed at all three to be honest.) So basically the group split. Kelly being the amazing girl that she is still spends time with Dad aka me and Ella and Mom separately. Now there were moments where we talked but there hasn't been much ripple in the water until recently.

So anyway for the past week I have been an asshole to Ella. Not really sure why. I have just been a little upset at her for certain things so I guess I was taking it out. Anyway I was an asshole again last night and she was hurt so she turned to Mom. So apparently they made up. So I find out about it today and when she tells me how they kind of made up I say of course. The reason being is of course she was going to make up with them over me. I knew they were going to make up in one or two ways. Either through a common enemy (aka me) or a common idea (maybe anime?). So when I say I knew it was going to happen she just says whatever and stops texting. Now I' m like what the crap? What are you upset about? Anyway she stops texting me for no reason. Now I’m all depressed about it because now Ella is with the enemy. Then I get a text from my dad about Ella texting him. Now I'm upset. She stopped texting me for no reason then I find out she texted my dad to ask him something when she could have asked me. Now reading her previous text she did ask and I had changed the subject. She never brought it up again so I'm just supposed to remember her earlier text. No I think not. So now she’s mad at me. I don't know why but whatever.

I just feel hurt and upset now and I don't know how to make it feel any better. Maybe Kelly could help a little but I doubt it. In the end she’s mad at me for being an asshole and she’s right I was an asshole. Of course in my defense she didn't make it any better by calling me an idiot for breaking the rules. I would like to point out for the jury that I have broken the rules for her more than once. Yet I wasn't called an idiot for that. Another thing that’s been bugging me bout Ella. Why does she feel uncomfortable at my house? She never wants to hang out there now. I mean I understand she doesn't want to watch TV but we could do something else. Then she just happens to remember some HW when I suggest staying when before she had said "Let’s do something" It’s a mystery.

Now last of all I want to point out that I do not agree with gays and lesbians. I think it is wrong morally and physically. Morally wrong (see below). As for the physically wrong, same sexes aren't designed for that. A man is designed for a woman. That simple. It’s wrong, nasty, and disgusting. I also believe you cannot be a Christian and still practice a lesbian relationship. Well that's all I can think of for now.


Here is a verse about god view on homosexuality:

1 Corinthians 6:9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Romans 1:18, 24-28, 32 The WRATH OF GOD is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness.... [24] Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the DEGRADING of their bodies with one another. [25] They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator — who is forever praised. Amen. [26] Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for UNNATURAL ones. [27] In the same way the MEN ALSO ABANDONED NATURAL RELATIONS WITH WOMEN AND WERE INFLAMED WITH LUST FOR ONE ANOTHER. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their PERVERSION. [28] Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done.... [32] Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.


Jude 1:7 In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and PERVERSION. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire.

What jesus thinks about marriage:

Haven’t you read,” [Jesus] replied, “that at the beginning the CREATOR ‘made them MALE AND FEMALE,’ [5] and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?

Jesus resolved the gay marriage debate once and for all — GOD made them “MALE and FEMALE ... a MAN ... [and] his WIFE". I see this as one of the most compelling biblical arguments against gay marriage. Jesus Christ Himself referred back to the biblical creation account and confirmed God's intent that marriage is to be between a man and a woman.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Forward to homecoming. However something bugged me today. Elijah didnt facebook message me after dinner. Well at least i got to talk it out with julia. I feel
Hi. I wanted to get on a computer but my bed is just so comfortable. I'm sending text blogs as seperate so they wont be cut off. Well to start i'm looking

Monday, October 4, 2010

P eam of you my three.
P rent worlds and have taken blades through the stomach for them and i would do it too just so that they could live. Well i must sleep now. Maybe i will dr
P om, danielle, luisa, and etc.. The list actually goes on for awhile. But as of late i dream of the first three the most. I have been transported to diffe
P dont mean just that. I think that if your willing to sacrifice yourself to rate someone you love that person either as a friend or something more. Right
P As i lay down on my bed, i gaze up at the darkness of my ceiling and images of people i love appear. I know when i say love you think relationship but i
Testing. This is a test blog to see if this mobile blog is working. :)

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Hello

Hello. What more can be said really? I am off of work and just sitting on the computer waiting for two friends to show up. Whats been on my mind lately? Well lets see, the answer would have to be Girls and Superpowers. I will not talk about the girls just because I feel like talking about the super powers. I don't know if you read the last post but in it I said I had a huge imagination. Well its so big that i have created entire worlds and super powered guardians of this world. I also have altered the world we live in today to fit superpowered people.
Anyway on this planet Earth, there are a group of super powered people. They are called the Guardians (a bit cliched I know but if it aint broke don't fix it) and these guardians are actually made up from me and people in my life. There are actually 15 with a few honorary members. I started out with two then it went up to four then it went up 7 then I kept expanding them. Anyway one of these guardians is called Zodiac. He is actually the youngest of the group and he has alot of powers. Well I have  dreaming about Zodiac and  I don't know why. Usually I am SilverWolf, Kid Silver, and just plain SIlver. A kid with more powers then Zodiac but he doesn't even know all that he can do. Well I go into more details on the gaurdians later, right now I kinda want to go eat pizza. Oh yes and of course I must have a quotes. Quotes from the justice league animated show. ( Yeah i Know)


Flash: Don't you have any lawyers here?
Judges: We solved our lawyer problem a long time ago. However, you could speak for him, if you wish. But be aware, if you lose, you'll share the same penalty as the accused.
Flash: The same penalty? You mean... that's crazy!
Judge: No, that's how we solved our lawyer problem.
 
Batman: There's not much time. If we can't shut that down, the entire world is doomed!
Green Lantern: I suppose this is a bad time to say "I told you so."
 
Joker: But seriously, Lex, you need me.
Luthor: Like I need skin rash.
 
Flash: Picture it - The sun. The sea. Hundreds of women just like her running around, and me: the first man they've seen in... oh, maybe forever. Oh, and look what I brought: Iced mochas for everyone! Sweet.
Martian Manhunter: I fail to see the attraction.
Flash: Man, you really are from Mars
 
Flash: Hey, Cookie.
Hawkgirl: One word and you'll be the fastest man alive with a limp.
 
Etrigan: For the past generation she has hidden from me, but I will never rest until her soul burns in the Eternal Pit.
Flash: And I thought Bats was creepy.


Etrigan: The witch has an amulet which can sense when I'm drawing near.
Flash: With that stench, who needs an amulet?
 
Batman: Who are you working for?
Thief: [in Kaznian] You can't understand a word I'm saying and I wouldn't tell you anything if you could.
Batman: [in Kaznian] I can... [advances on him menacingly] ...and you will.
 
 
 
 
 

Saturday, October 2, 2010

It's my 2nd post. The Silver medal winner. My favorite color. :)

So I'm stuck in lab in the moment. It is mainly due to my naive foolishness. I should have paid more attention when the instructor said that not going to this lab would count as an absence. So here I am sharing my thoughts. I don’t share my thoughts that often to be honest. I just feel that if I share too much I’ll be taken advantage of. In my defense, I’m going off of experience. I have known so many people over the years who have taken advantage that it just astounds me. As my mind wanders over the years of my life I think back on all the friends, lovers, and acquaintances that I have either lost, have or getting to know. Life is just like that sometimes, you think you know where it’s headed then all of a sudden you realize, “Crap! Rapid waters ahead!” or “Waterfall!!” and then life gives you a run for your money.
       Right now in my life the water is getting choppy, is there rapids ahead followed by a waterfall or is it just a mild disturbance. My mind tells me danger ahead turn around. However, in life you can’t just turn the boat around. It’s a one way trip leading all the way to that final waterfall. The one where we all have to take that plunge. So the question I pose is how do you want the ride to be? Sometimes you can’t control the severity of the ride but you can control whether you’re going to enjoy it or not. You could be scared and afraid of what’s ahead but in the end you’re going to stay on the ride until that final waterfall so why worry about it?. So why am I thinking this now? To be honest I don’t really know. I’m stuck in this lab for about 3 hours and 35 minutes which means I probably won’t get a nap today before work at 445. Which is unfortunate, to say the least.
         I have always had a big imagination and it tends to come into my mind more often these days. The idea that a man can break the mortal coils that bound him and do the impossible just fascinates me. Of course I’m not the only one. Where would superheroes be without men who have the imagination that is not bound or constrained? Life without heroes would be dismal and a horrible place. For those who know me, you know I have an imagination and one of my favorite things is superpowers. Anything involving superpowers gets my interest. Now of course I pay attention to the story line and everything but I see someone throwing cars or moving things with their mind and you got my attention. Well that’s all I want to say for now. Maybe I’ll edit my post later but for now I’m going to sneak watching some YouTube videos.


But before I go, A few quotes about life.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. - Umberto Eco

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.- Mark Twain

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see. - John Burroughs

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it. -Charles M. Schulz

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. -Robert Frost

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. -George Bernard Shaw

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor. - Sholom Aleichem

My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can. - Cary Grant

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. - Mark Twain

Your life is what your thoughts make it. -- Marcus Aurelius

Saturday, May 29, 2010

First blog ever!

Not really sure what to say. I randomly decided to try this and I wonder where it will take me. I will try and post my dreams, my thought, my fear, and any other thoughts that come to my mind.